Code of Conduct

This event is based on the philosophy of harm reduction, meaning that we want to limit further harm from happening as we interact and engage with each other while recognizing that all people are capable of harm in different degrees, as well as experienced harm on different degrees. Next to this, we take on a developing trauma-informed approach, and in that regard want to make you aware of the following, so you can make an informed decision concerning your attendance:

As the nature of this event is talking about accountability as a potential way of moving beyond harm (individually/community/organization), we will talk about harm of varying degrees of harm and their potential effects. This can include sexual violence and emotional abuse.

We will be a collection of people who are on this scale of having harmed others and seek accountability, as well as people who have experienced harm and seek healing through accountability. Next to our personal stories around this topic, we focus here on the community aspect. However, people are welcome/encouraged to share their personal stories if it is appropriate to the discussion or necessary to disclose before certain interactions.

We encourage you to take self-care at heart, exercise active consent concerning participating or removing yourself, and reaching out to one of the organizers when in need of support.

In case you have been accused of harming people or excluded from a community in the past, we ask you to disclose it to Janina Vivianne, Ariana & Olivier in advance or at the event, and be open to the possibility of sharing it before getting intimate with someone.

SELF RESPONSIBILITY &  SAFER SPACE

We invite a good amount of self-reliance and ask you to reach out if you feel unsafe or insecure.  We want to emphasize that you can leave workshops, training and the event at any time – we encourage you to take care of yourself! All Attendees are encouraged to be a reliable source of information to spread awareness about consent. As consent is the most important value we invite every Participant and Team member to check in and take care of each other and themselves. Whenever you witness a possible consent incident or someone who may not be feeling well, you are encouraged to check in with that person if it is within your capacity. If you don’t feel you can handle the situation, let the Organizers know about the situation to ensure they check in with that person.

The 4 Cs:

CONSENT

• We check in with each other – only a Hell Yes is a Yes!
• We respect personal boundaries – we respect all different kinds of a No.
• There is no pre-consent – any given consent can be withdrawn a minute later, check in with others regularly.

CARE

• We respect you in your whole truth – feel free to express what you need and want!
• We work to create a space (and maybe someday a world) without sex-shaming, kink-shaming, slut-shaming or body-shaming.
• We care for each other – everything is possible, nothing is obligated.
• Sexual health is important to us, we protect each other and get tested regularly.
• We check in with each other out if someone seems to be in trouble, stressed out or frozen.
• We value self-reliance and self care.

CONFIDENTIALITY

• We trust each other to treat all people with respect and to not ‘out’ others.
• We see it as an honor to witness other people expressing their sensual and sexual self.
• We won’t share stories that aren’t our own.
• We won’t talk about others in an exposing way to protect them. This means we avoid names or identifying attributes while telling stories about our own experiences.
• We don’t take non-consensual pictures.

COVID-19

• Please use the provided hand sanitizer.
• Wash your hands before and after touching objects, doors, etc.
• Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. The longer the better.
• Tell us if you or someone you have been close got Positive.

Consent Policy

It is everyone’s responsibility to understand, ask for, and choose whether to give or withhold consent. Together, we seek to create a supportive and consensual space where people are accepted and able to explore themselves and their sexuality.

We expect everyone at The Event of S+ Community Europe to follow these guidelines while you are with us. (We hope you will follow them outside as well.)

1. Treat everyone as an equal by default. Everyone has responsibility to obtain, provide, or withhold consent regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, ability, age, orientation, relationship status, sexual power dynamics, or any other identity.

2. Each participant is responsible for making sure, to the best of their ability, that everyone involved has the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to give informed and voluntary consent during negotiation and the activity itself.

3. Anyone can withdraw consent at any time during any activity. A “No” in any form, verbal or nonverbal, should be taken as a withdrawal of consent.

4. All participants are responsible for stopping immediately any activity at the withdrawal of consent.

5. Negotiate anything beyond simple activities. Only an Enthusiastic Yes is a Yes. 
6. Should sex, sexual contact, or sexual play be involved:

• Give clear and explicit consent to the negotiated acts.
• Participants need to agree on meanings for safewords or safe signs when used. (The house safeword is “Safeword”.)
• Unless previously agreed upon, we recommend avoiding re-negotiating in the middle of an activity. When a person is not in a clear state of mind, you may not have full or informed consent even though they agree in the heat of the moment ( sex brain).

If your consent is violated, or you experience a consent incident, tell a volunteer, event organizer, or clearly marked delegate. There is a Procedure in place to help. You may inform us in person, by phone, or through email. Please contact us as soon as you are able. It is your right to report what happened to you and to ask for support.

2. Violation of the consent policy may result in expulsion from an event and/or temporary or permanent ban from S+ Events Events or activities. There are Procedures in place that follow the values of Transformative Accountability. These will be followed by all volunteers, staff, and delegates. No one is exempt.
3. Disclaimer: Every reasonable effort will be made to enforce this policy, but we cannot make representations or guarantees about our ability to do so. Each situation is distinct and will be reviewed on a case by case basis. All participants and attendees retain full, sole responsibility for their safety and the safety of others with whom they interact.

To Report an Incident or Request an Advocate

• In person: ask a member of the core team 

• Or, please email: spositivecom@gmail.com

Glossary & Policy and Procedure written by: The Pan Eros Foundation and the Consent Academy – Creative Commons License – 2020 – V3.1

The Consent Academy is happy to share the ideas and format of this Consent Policy. We ask for credit/citation on any duplication or use via Creative Commons. If possible, a donation is also welcome but is not necessary.

For more information, contact us through our website: www.consent.academy

The Consent Academy is happy to share the ideas and format of this Consent Policy. We ask for credit/citation on any duplication or use via Creative Commons. If possible, a donation is also welcome but is not necessary.

For more information, contact us through our website: www.consent.academy

What does sex-positivity mean?

We see sexuality as a positive element in human life. We have an open and welcoming attitude towards its many expressions or consciously chosen non-expressions, along with an awareness of sexual health and consent. Our passion is based on experiencing sexuality as an enriching and empowering force in our own lives. Sex-positivity doesn’t necessarily mean to have sexual encounters with numerous people or attending play parties or orgies. It means to reflect on your own sexuality, act non-judgmentally, consensually and respectfully toward yourself, and others and their sexuality.

More on our Values here.

What does body-positivity mean?

Everybody is welcome – no matter the shape, gender or orientation. To us, body-positivity also means fighting against sexism, taboos, stigma, racism and colonization, heteronormativity and homophobia, ableism or ageism. The Parallel Universe is a space without body-shaming and open for all bodies beautiful in all their differences.

We want to create a space without taboos or shame, where people can express their sexual and sensual desires. We will provide open spaces for various kinds of interaction* – cuddle areas, play areas, room for kinky experiences as well as non-sexual spaces. 

Will there be nudity? 

Yes, you are invited to dress or undress as you feel like. 

Where can I have sex?

We will introduce the different areas and spaces at the beginning of the event. Please arrive on time and be especially attentive in the beginning to help create a safe(r) space for all people attending. 

Do I have to engage with someone or be intimate?

No. You are free to do whatever you want as long as you have the consent of everyone involved. We will offer plenty of different areas for all kinds of needs and desires.*

Can I only watch others?

We consider voyeurism (watching others having sex) as taking part in a sexual interaction, therefore it needs the consent of all people involved. Depending on the designated area you are in like the playroom you might not need to ask, witnessing a couple in private intimacy you will most likely have to ask for their consent to watch them. Don’t be shy, just ask if you can watch and take a Yes or a No graciously. In case of uncertainties please reach out to the organizer.

Glossary aka Definition of terms

Consent: The explicit or implicit verbal communication made by a person that they are willing to have something done to them by one or more other persons, or that they are willing to perform an act at the request of one or more other persons.

Consent includes the ability to make that expression freely, the conscious understanding of what is being done or requested, and the active willingness to engage. Consent applies to all persons involved in an activity regardless of role. Consent may be withdrawn at any point, regardless of prior negotiations between the participating parties. 

Impacted Party: The person against whom the Consent Incident was committed.

Implicated Party: The person (or persons) named in the report as being responsible for the actions outlined in the Consent Incident.

Witness: A person (or persons) who witnessed the incident, or part of the incident, first hand.

Harm: “Significant physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and/or social injury; lasting damage or Trauma.

• Physical Harm: Harm experienced by the physical body; significant and/or unwanted physical injury.
• Mental/Emotional Harm: Harm experienced by the mind; significant and/or unwanted injury to the psyche or emotional self; mental and/or emotional Trauma. 
• Spiritual Harm: Harm experienced by the self; significant and/or unwanted injury to identity or sense of self.
• Social Harm: Harm experienced by the social self; significant and/or unwanted injury to a person’s standing within a group or community; unwanted removal from a group and/or loss of significant connections within a group.” (From the Consent Academy)

Abuse: “behaviors (physical, emotional, economic, sexual, and many more) intended to gain, exert, and maintain power over another person or in a group. When abuse is present, professional support, space, and boundaries are needed.” (from We Will Not Cancel Us by adrienne maree brown)

Traumatic Event: “involves a single experience, or enduring repeated or multiple experiences, that completely overwhelm the individual’s ability to cope or integrate the ideas and emotions involved in that experience.” Trauma Informed Toolkit, The (Second Edition 2013)

Triggers: “specific thoughts, actions, sights or events that set off an emotion that may not actually be related to the current situation, or may be much more powerful than the circumstances would seem to warrant. A trigger is usually tied to an earlier experience and may be connected to a traumatic event.” – More Than Two

Harm reduction: “A set of principles and strategies for both reducing the overall harm present in a situation and preventing further harm from occurring. 

Tenets of Harm Reduction are:

• Harm that has happened cannot be removed. Harm cannot be prevented from happening in the future.
• Additional harm can be prevented and impact of the harm that was done can be reduced through appropriate intervention, education, and  support.

• Non-judgmental interactions with both the person who experienced harm and the person responsible for it is essential to the process.
• Issues of Power, Privilege, Oppression, Trauma, past experience, and other social inequities impact a person’s vulnerability to and  capacity in dealing with harm.

• The real and sometimes tragic impact harm has on a person must be seen, acknowledged, and validated; be it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or social.”

Accountability: “Taking responsibility through words and/or actions for one’s harmful behavior and/or negative impact on others.” (From The Consent Academy)

Accountability Process: The series of interconnected steps an organization, group, or Accountability Team uses to enforce Accountability and Responsibility within its Scope. (From The Consent Academy)

Code of Conduct: A set of rules outlining the norms, rules, and responsibilities of an individual in an organization; a definition of proper behavior within a space that reflects the core values and goals of the group in charge of that space. (From The Consent Academy)

Confidentiality: A set of rules, promise, or agreement that limits access or places restrictions on certain information. An agreement to hold information private within the bounds of consent from an individual or organization. (From The Consent Academy)

Consent Incident – as defined by The Consent Academy

An incident during which a person is acted upon (or is coerced to perform an act) in a manner not consented to in advance or after a withdrawal of consent is made.

An Incident, physical, emotional, mental, or social in nature, may occur accidentally or intentionally, with or without malice, and may or may not have injurious consequences.

An Incident confers no judgment itself. It is simply something that happened involving consent. Further inquiry is needed.

A violation of consent may or may not happen during an incident. Whether or not a violation occurred is up to the person who experienced the harm.

Consent Violation – defined by TIR/PU

An incident during which:

1. A person is acted upon (or is coerced to perform an act) by another or by others in a manner not consented to in advance.
2. A person is acted upon (or is coerced to perform an act) by another or by others after a withdrawal of consent is made by the acted-upon person. 
3. A Consent Violation may occur accidentally or intentionally, with or without malice, and may or may not have injurious consequences.

1. A Consent Violation may be physical, emotional, mental, or social in nature.
2. A Consent Violation may be obvious to all involved, realized by a subset of the people involved, or only be clear to a single individual.

When is it considered a Violation? Everyone has the responsibility to obtain, provide, or withhold consent regardless of sex, gender, ethnicity, ability, age, orientation, relationship status, sexual power dynamics, or any other identity. 

Here are some examples but keep in mind that real-life situations might not be so clear: 

1. Touching people or personal property without permission.

1. Not ensuring that all persons involved have given consent to any proposed acts.

1. Not stopping any activity immediately at the withdrawal of consent – anyone can withdraw consent at any time during any activity.

1. Attempting to renegotiate during an activity – if a person is not in a clear state of mind, you may not have full or informed consent even though they agree in the heat of the moment.

1. Initiating any activity whatsoever, whether a person is sober or under the influence of any substances, that they have not given full informed verbal consent.

Consent Incident Report (CIR): A statement outlining the details of a Consent Incident. This notice may be made in-person, by telephone, video, or e-mail. Formal CIRs include an Incident Report and other documentation as appropriate.

1st Party Report: A statement given by the person who experienced the incident directly. Can be either the Impacted

Party or the Implicated Party

2nd Party Report: A statement given by someone who heard the information from the person who experienced the incident directly. Unless there are mitigating circumstances, a 2nd Party Report will be taken as information only; used to support or fill in information for a 1st Party report.

3rd Party Report: A statement given by someone who heard about the incident from someone other than a first hand account. These reports are considered unreliable.

1. Unless there are mitigating circumstances, a 3rd Party Report will not be accepted and no process will be engaged.

Anonymous Report: A statement given without identifying information about an incident.

1. Unless there are mitigating circumstances, an Anonymous Report will not be acted upon and no process will be engaged but the information stored.

Incident Report: The form completed by the Interviewer when the Impacted Party chooses to make a formal Consent Incident Report. This can be in person, via email, phone, or via our consent report form.

First Responder ( Soul Angel or  CRT): The Organization Member to whom the CI is initially reported.

1. First Responder’s Role is to make sure the Impacted Party is safe and initiates the appropriate support process
2. Practice Emotional/Psychological First Aid where appropriate
3. It is not the role of the First Responder to determine the validity of the report.
4. The First Responder should never try to convince someone to not report.
5. Doing so is grounds for dismissal.

Advocate ( our CRT): A trained individual whose role is to support the people involved, with their consent and involvement, through the CIR process and to support them with the mental, emotional, and logistical difficulties that arise from a CI. 

1. Where possible, separate Advocates should be assigned to both the Impacted Party and the Implicated Party so as to provide better and more targeted support.
2. Where possible, the Impacted Party should have the opportunity to choose the presentation of their advocate to choose what is most comfortable for them.
3. Advocates must follow a Harm Reduction strategy and take a Trauma-Informed perspective.

Interviewer ( our CRT) : The person, ideally trained, receiving information about and recording the Soul Angel  on behalf of the Organization. This should be the senior staff member or Advocate on duty.

1. Where possible, the Interviewer should be different from the Advocates supporting the individuals involved.
2. The Interviewers role is to take down information, without judgment, that is as accurate and close to what is reported as possible. They make no decisions or judgments about the information.
3. Interviewers should follow a Harm Reduction strategy, use a Trauma-Informed perspective, and avoid biasing interview questions.
4. Interviewers must do everything possible to maintain confidentiality including avoiding sharing information between parties, compartmentalizing information where appropriate, sharing only needed information with staff, and creating a final report that is anonymized.

Director/Board: The Board of the “Sex-positiv Verein” Organization consists of the Executive Director Janina Vivianne K.  & the 2nd Director Jana S.

1. It is the Board’s role to oversee the Consent Incident Reporting process; making sure it is progressing, the guidelines outlined here are being followed, the process is in line with the Organization’s Ethos and Mission, and it reaches a conclusion.
2. It is the  Board’s role to oversee Accountability Processes and make sure any directives from the Consent Incident Review Committee are fulfilled.
3. The  Board’s can appoint someone else to fulfill these roles.
4. Should there be a conflict of interest, the Organization’s Board or ruling body can appoint someone else to fulfill these roles.

Consent Incident Review Committee (CIRC): A committee, convened by the Board of Directors or their designate, to make final decisions regarding CIs and Accountability Process.

1. The CIRC’s role is to receive the information reported by the Interviewer, review that information, and make recommendations based on that information.
2. The CIRC should be made up of people with no conflicts of interest and, where possible, include people from outside the Organization.

Harm Reduction: A set of principles and strategies for both reducing the overall harm present in a situation and preventing further harm from occurring. We focus on the following:

1. We cannot remove harm that has happened. Nor can we prevent harm from happening in the future.
2. We can work to prevent additional harm and to reduce the impact of the harm that was done through appropriate intervention, education, and support.
3. Non-judgmental interactions with both the person who experienced harm and the person responsible for it is essential to the process.
4. Recognizing issues of power, privilege, oppression, trauma, past experience, and other social inequities impact a person’s vulnerability to and capacity in dealing with harm.
5. Acknowledging the real and sometimes tragic impact harm has on a person; be it physical, emotional, mental, or Spiritual.

Trauma-Informed: An approach assuming any individual is more likely than not to have a history of trauma. Trauma-Informed support recognizes the presence of trauma symptoms and acknowledges the role trauma may play in an individual’s life. We focus on the following:

1. Safety: Establishing as safe an environment as possible where the people involved can share their experience without fear of judgment, with reduced risk of retraumatization, and where respectful/appropriate boundaries are maintained.
2. Patience: Understanding that dealing with trauma is a non-linear process, is different for each person, and often needs significant time to manage, support, and process effectively.
3. Understanding: Trauma encompasses a complicated set of concepts and knowledge. Education about it and practice with it are both essential to supporting people through it.
4. Consent: People who have experienced a consent incident are both more sensitive to and at higher risk for having their consent violated. It is essential to center consent in all interactions with them as a way to provide greater safety, reduce the chance of further harm, and give choice.
5. Collaboration: Individuals need to have agency (the ability to create change in their own life) to recover from trauma. It’s important to work with people involved in the process and give them a significant role in determining their capacity and planning their next steps.
6. Accountability: People involved in an incident need to know the people working on it are both human, thus subject to making mistakes, and will take responsibility when those mistakes are made. This means making honest apologies and then correcting the mistake, be it individual or organizational.
7. Empowerment: Providing a process that works to give power and agency back to the people involved through validation, affirmation, boundary acknowledgment, appropriate choice, and realistic support.

Accountability Process: A structured way to help support people in taking responsibility for the impact of their behavior, choices, and/or mistakes. We focus on the following:

1. Acknowledging a violation exists and is real. No forward movement can happen if people involved in an incident are unable to recognize, understand, and acknowledge to others that harm was done.
2. Taking responsibility for behaviors that cause consent violations. Responsibility includes taking ownership of the actions, reactions, and choices that led to the harm.
3. Making amends to the person (or people) who experienced consent violations. Amends can include many different behaviors including but not limited to: honest apologies, education, therapy, giving space, taking space, making reparations, demonstrating new behaviors, and/or anything that shows understanding and positive change.
4. Making positive changes to prevent future consent violations. It’s important to learn, grow, and heal after being involved in an incident and part of accountability is doing the work to see those actually happen.
5. We see accountability as inclusive. Everyone involved in an incident, including the Organization, is responsible for following the above principles and supporting positive change to the level of their capacity.
6. The accountability process will, by necessity, be different for the person impacted, the person implicated, the support staff, and the Organization as a whole.

A successful Accountability Process takes time and revolves around a person’s ability to change their behavior as part of a harm reduction process.

Credits : 

Glossary & Policy and Procedure written by: The Pan Eros Foundation and the Consent Academy – Creative Commons License – 2020 – V3.1

The Consent Academy is happy to share the ideas and format of this Consent Policy. We ask for credit/citation on any duplication or use via Creative Commons. If possible, a donation is also welcome but is not necessary.

For more information, contact us through our website: www.consent.academy

Glossary & Policy and Procedure written by: The Pan Eros Foundation and the Consent Academy – Creative Commons License – 2020 – V3.1