More than two

tags: More than two,  safer sex, groups

Where do my fingers/toys/mouth/genitals go?

Especially in group sex situations, it’s good to keep track of who touched what with what, and to make sure pathogens don’t happily travel around.

If, after giving someone pleasure, you just pulled your fingers, dildo or (condom-clad) cock out of a vagina/asshole/mouth, be mindful where you put it next. It’s easy to half-aware wipe your eyes or put your fingers/cock/dildo in someone else’s body openings, and all the protection of the condom is gone since on the surface of your fingers/cock/dildo you’re carrying the flora of person 1 directly to person 2, or to the surface you are touching (for example the door knob of the toilet).


  • Consider using gloves. If you don’t like gloves, then hand hygiene is especially important

  • Before going to an event: ask if the location of a sex party has a washing area / sink near the “sex area” (ideally in the same room, since many people don’t want to get up and go down multiple hallways and break up the flow to wash up)

  • Don’t get too intoxicated to stay alert

  • Assign your hands: “one hand for you, the other for me” or “this hand for the ass, the other for the pussy”

  • Always wash hands/genitals/sex toys before you start, inbetween changing partners, and afterwards

  • Use soap to wash your hands properly

  • During finger play, be mindful about the often automatic gestures of wiping your own eyes (it’s possible to get a local infection with gonorrhea or herpes in the eye)

  • For quick emergency cleanup in “I-can’t-possibly-get-up-now” situations, bring and use baby wipes aka. wet wipes (which are good, but not a real replacement of washing with soap)

  • After vigorous oral sex (especially deep throating), or before changing partners, you can use alcoholic mouthwash (there are travel size bottles to bring with you). Don’t forget to rinse with water, as mouthwash can cause pain or irritation on the genitals.

  • Be aware that oral infection risks (Chlamydia etc.) are not entirely eliminated by washing your mouth. Don’t brush teeth directly before and after an encounter, as the tiny cuts caused by brushing will greatly increase infection risk.

  • Cutting and carefully filing finger nails can reduce the risk of small injuries when doing finger play

(c) CC BY-SA 3.0 DE by Marc Seestaedt , Sky Mira Lau 

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